Long time no blog, i feel guilty, empty and upset. No one knows why, even myself. Actually since the last blog, my life could not be more peaceful and quiet. I want to do some thinking, only there seems to be pretty much nothing to think about, so maybe i need to get deeper and deeper.
I dont want to call this blog one of the story in Manchster, mainly because it wont be that satisfied for me for sure. However, i still have something to say, not to compain. One day i was talking to the Chinese girl who lives next to me, i found something interesting, she is now suffering from her course just as what my situation was, and suddenly she realized something and asked me if she was currently doing the right thing which is her postgradute course. I felt speechless, I got nothing to tell her, because i know people are different, we are different, our family are different, so i couldnt simply say it is right or wrong, the only thing i could tell is just follow your heart. I know it is pretty an old topic in my blog, but the point is when you go abroad get out the 'trap', and look back and think, you will have a quite clear picture of your previous life. Additionally, if you dont, just straight on!
I found out that the reason why people in China can easily get lost is not the poor economy, not this perversive society, its because they are too afraid of death. Imagine what the worst situation could be when you chase your dream fearlessly, of course it is death. Nonethless, if you could die that easily, you may not be qualified to be a human. Actually, most people fear death, its quite understandable, but the meaning of your life will might be something for others, but definitely nothing for you, no one will ever remember your existance. Gaze death, dont be afraid, it is just a word.
I have had a lovely life in the flat with my flatmates these days, it is quite nice to talk and laugh around them. i can feel my english still keep going forward without rest. it is a good feeling for me though my Chinese is stepping backwards. Thanks to the Japanese guy who travels a lot by the way, he got me a very nice real madrid team shirt of my favorite player in Madrid in Spain. It is also interesting to find out that these westerners play 'truth or fear' as well, but the girls, haha, they are ll afraid of being asked dirty questions, but who knows im justing doing it for improving my english.
I love China as I love my family, but screw you communists.
